| I have long accepted the fact that i will never be perfect, i have so many insecurities that haunt me on a daily,waking up from a nightmare to experience the vivdness of a physical nightmare,,, psychotic cycles of psychosis, oh how i truely wish i could regret all the damage that i have done to self in the past.. still drowning myself in poison, emotions.. flood my very being.. death becomes the concept of escape, non suicidal knowing better than to take ones own life.. but the feeling of helplessness with no comfort or guidance.. what does one do when their best friend /loved one no longer sooths the agonizing sorrow of another.. where must the heart turn? searching in all the wrong directions..had a grip of what was once divine and now all is gone...walking on needles on twisted paths infested by snakes.. venomous poison i take in with pleasure... i only expect the worse... because now i have truely lost hope in what was once known as fate.
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| naturally accepting the flow, missing her.. not really knowing what her agenda is, living free... moments of loneliness, wishing for a future, but all i see is reflections of self, found but incontent..
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| im going to end it all soon
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| So once again, i put myself in hell, insecurities/haunted by the demons that feed, i need to escape permanently
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| whoooooooooooooooooah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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